Equilibria: dying and living in Maasser El Chouf

Saturday, 21 March 2009

My mother's father, Najeeb Noujaim--Nash Ne Jame as those of his new country spelled it--left the cedar mountains and his family in his mid-teens to return to America. He and his family lived in America at the turn of the century. My grandfather's family returned to a Lebanon strangled by the Ottoman Turks, their grip upon a vanishing empire ever more desperate. Disease, famine and war engulfed the mountains.

From America my grandfather searched for his family across the Middle East. His entire family save for a sister and brother perished along a road to Damascus as they searched for food and sanctuary. His sister Melvina escaped enslavement by kidnappers by dressing as a boy. With the help of the Red Cross his siblings landed in New York, each tattered with a suitcase.

Later in life he grew distant never speaking of the tragedy that befell his family. Although he lived an adventurous life as an aerial photographer eventually settling down with my grandmother and raising two children, he died a highly accomplished yet quiet man when my mother was fifteen years old. I never knew him.

We have been almost a century removed from Maasser. Today, we walk the same streets as my ancestors. I imagine my grandfather's family planting cherries, herding goats, while children play and women roll grapeleaves for a feast in the days ahead.

 



My mother presents a family tree that dates back to the mid 1500s. Everyone we meet in the village points to their place on the tree. We discover another cousin we never knew existed.

I imagine the bloodletting of the mid civil war years. Seventy years before that, the starving masses of a failing empire. Were my great-grandparents among the many who walked from their village for days collecting rotting lemons to eat?

We know they left Beirut and Maasser for a better life and died on the road to Damascus. I feel the burden of those remaining today, Druze and Christians alike, those who are left behind. The loneliness of the village. The collective desire to reclaim the years before the civil war.

The Diaspora, the scattering, is hard on them. Hard on us. On everyone. My mother and I walk beneath the cedars, thousands of years old, longing in equal measure to return. This is the grove that was rumored to have built King Soloman's temple, known in Arabic as "the cedars of God." We promised to return again--and again--and again. < next >